Do The Work

Do you have something in your life that you know could be better? Do you see others and wonder how they arrived at the point that you admire? I am no

Do you have something in your life that you know could be better?  Do you see others and wonder how they arrived at the point that you admire? I am not talking about making wishes from a genie or comparison that someone has more money or physical attributes that you have, and you want what they have. I am taking about someone in your life that has a different countenance that you admire.  Someone you have met carries themselves with a dignity or grace that leaves of your encounter. What is it that draws you to that person?

I remember when I was single and dating a guy that I thought I really liked.  I was getting to know the parents and family when his mom asked if I would like to have lunch with her during the week sometime.  I didn’t work far so I thought the invitation was a great idea.  When we made plans, she decided that I should go to her house, and she would make us lunch and we could spend some time together.  I went to meet her at her house, and she showed me around and we ate a sandwich.  I asked her what she did with her time during the day and her answer was that she spent several days a week in prayer.  As I probed further, I found out that there were 8-hour days in her week that she spent the day in prayer.  It made me wonder what she was dealing with that she had spent so much time on her knees. She and I prayed together for a while, and I headed back to work.

That encounter changed me inside.  The more I got to know her, the more I realized that she spent time in prayer so she could be with the Lord, one on one.  Her soul ached to be with him.  She knew him intimately.  She prayed about her family and all the things that were on her heart.  As I watched her over the next couple of months, I remember thinking that she glowed.  Ha!  A lot like Moses whose physical appearance had changed when he spent time on the mountain in the presence of God.  How do you spend time with the creator of the universe and not walk away changed?

As the time went on and the relationship with her son ended, I have often reflected on that day and pondered.  Life goes on and I made little change about the amount of time that I spent in prayer. I prayed when I had a quiet time and over meals and at bible study, but I did not sit in the presence of God like she did.

For multiple years now, I have had a group of 5 or 6 women in my home monthly to spend time together and pursue the Lord together.  We chose a video series bible study by Lysa Terkeurst to study together.  The name of the study is “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget”. It was incredibly powerful.  The study had a workbook for that we completed that went along with the videos.  We also had copies of her book of the same title.  As I dug into the study, things came to the surface in my life that I thought I had dealt with.  I was in the bookstore and found out that she had a journal that could accompany the other components as well.  So, I bought the journal and did that too.  The journal asked me to recall the specifics that I had tucked away so many years before.  How it made me feel, why I was hurt by it and how I had moved forward through it.

Day in and day out I hashed out the things in my life that were painful.  There was not a particular person that I needed to forgive, but a life lived with painful moments throughout.  You move past the painful moments eventually, but I had never hashed them all out like I was doing with this study.  It was not fun to go back and relive the painful moments, but in the pain of deep reflection came the peace of resolution.

The point to all of this is that you need to do the work.  You can’t just survive through the tough stuff and move on.  You need to pour your heart out to the Lord and tell him what happened to you and why you feel wounded. As I worked through the burdens in my heart, I realized that some were my perception of how something happened. Meaning, I was older or wiser now than I was when I felt the sting of the situation.  I could realize that some of the painful moments happened while I was younger and did not have the wisdom my gray hairs then.  Some situations happened because others were wounded, and we didn’t see eye to eye.  Some situations happened because I was selfish or bringing my worst to the table too. But the deep reflection and physically writing out the memories helped me to process the pain.

When we had completed the study and I had relived the issues that I carried with me, I found such freedom in my heart.  I wanted to spend time with me, and I wanted to spend time with the Lord.  I found that the amount of time I had spent in prayer and journaling had brought me closer to the Lord.  I was finally enjoying the time spent lingering with the Lord in prayer.

It is January of 2023 and what is keeping you bound up from God’s best in your life?  The memories of the past may be painful, but the outcome is worth the journey.  You may need to talk with someone and that is ok.  Heads up, you survive the pain and come out on the other side with the freedom to find joy again in the little and big things.  Please take the time to process the past so it does not keep you from experiencing your best future!

Lord, forgive me for allowing myself to carry the hurt in my heart forward when your word promises we can be free. I acknowledge that I am a sinful child, and I don’t always see things as they really are.  God, I ask that you give me your perspective and free me from my own perspective.  I ask for wisdom and grace with myself and others. Fill all the areas of my soul that are left longing for something else other than you. Reveal yourself to me so I can carry and experience your JOY.  I love you, Lord.

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