Joy is a Choice

When I got married, my husband and I discovered that we had very different attitudes in the morning when we wake up. Gary is a fairly happy and kind man that is not bothered by the early morning hours. I, however, am not a morning person. My brain goes a million miles per hour in the morning and my thoughts are very clear, but my mouth does not work in unison with my brain, and I can barely utter or mumble on a good morning. Needless to say, it was hard for my husband to not get his feelings hurt in the morning. Looking back - he thought I could just choose to be happy in the morning.

One morning, when Emily was about 3 years old, she came downstairs and threw herself on the couch with a grumble and a groan. Gary thought it was funny, and I took the opportunity to make the point that I did not teach her that, she came that way!

As time went on and Emily grew up a little bit, I would try to parent her in a manner that tried to emphasize the positive side of life and told her that she could choose joy. She was a tremendously kind-hearted little girl and she leaned into joy often after she had a moment to wake up in the morning.

When she was disappointed and sad, I would tell her to choose joy. When she didn't feel like doing something, I would emphasize the choice of joy. She could quickly adjust her mindset and get with the program.

While Emily was able to master her emotions most of the time, I was failing at it miserably. I would find myself wallowing in self-pity and didn't even think about the very thing that I would tell Emily. Choose joy was not even on the radar in my inner life. Why was it so hard for me. I was living the very life I had hoped and prayed for finally. I had a happy marriage, beautiful children and a strong career path. I should have been able to muster joy every day. Instead, I felt trapped in a journey that was less than joyful.

There was a leader in our company where I worked that heard me tell Emily to choose joy often. As politics and situations played out over time, she was forced to make some tough choices for herself and the company. Through tears one morning, she said, "I keep trying to tell myself to choose joy, but it doesn't seem to help."

As the years went on, the "fake it until you make it" idea of joy did not work for me either. Joy is definitely a choice. It is not based on happiness or temporary situations. It does not mean that life is going your way or that things in life are good or easy.

What is joy? I could tell you what I thought it was and how I found it, but I think joy is more than a choice, it's a journey. The journey helps us to discover our inner joy through a life that is surrendered to Christ.

Join me as I live out a life of struggle and surrender by reframing my mind and heart to emulate what God's word tells us about our Heavenly Father. His love covers us in grace and tenderness and is more satisfying than any benefit of a temporary situation. I would love to tell you that I have mastered this search for joy, but I continue to surrender to the journey and have learned to expect God's marvelous intervention in my everyday life.

Please join me in "Her Journey to Joy!"

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