Traditions

11.21.22

I have mixed emotions today as the holiday approaches.  My husband and I have lost 4 parents and a close family friend in 14 months to a variety of illnesses.  Some sudden, some not.  We have been trying to find or create new traditions for our family to experience the holidays since so much has changed.  I think the holidays bring up the past for everyone.  Whether your family memories are happy or sad, they feel especially raw during the holidays.

I am not a very good cook. I want to be a good cook when I grow up, but for some reason, I don’t have time for that now.  I am an excellent re-heater!  Ha!  Except when it comes to Thanksgiving!  I spent every Thanksgiving and Christmas Holiday in the kitchen with my mom.  We laughed and cried over the meal prep and sampled all the tasty dishes!  I think of those memories with such great fondness that it warms my soul.  I feel close to her as I plan the meal, buy the groceries and plan for the big day.  I can pull the meal off without a lot of sweat, but as I emotionally work through the meal, I remember the past.

I have heard the story about someone trying to prepare a dish that their mom and grandma used to make. The instructions were not written down but had been passed down from generation to generation.  If I remember correctly, someone thought it was necessary to cut the meat in a certain way as it was part of the preparation instructions. As the story goes on, the reason the meat was cut that way was because grandma didn’t have the right size pan for the cut of meat not that it was required to be cut that way for cooking. It’s funny how traditions continue even if you don’t know why.

My Thanksgiving table represents my family heritage.  The turkey is not stuffed because my dad did not like it in the bird.  Matter of fact, my dad didn’t like veggies in his stuffing or veggies period.  We made stuffing but without all the additional ingredients.  Then, we spent most of the time on the turkey, mashed potatoes, and heavenly gravy.  Green bean casserole was added sometime in my early 20’s.  When we moved to Texas, sweet potato casserole was added to the table with all the wonderful little marsh mellows.  My mom also used to make lime green Jell-O salad with pineapple, cream cheese and whipped cream.  Yum. My husband and kids don’t care for it, but I make it because it’s what we do for Thanksgiving.  I like it but not enough to eat the entire dish by myself.

Year after year I make the same meal.  I set the same table and we eat at the same time of day.  I love it and feel connected to my family on the day whether the food is consumed or not.  Then we watch football and eat pie.  My husband and kids fall asleep during the game, but I don’t.  I watch every minute of the game.   I do dishes and pack up the leftovers for the next couple of days. At the end of the day, I am exhausted, stuffed and satisfied.  More importantly, I feel connected to my family, and I count that connection as a way to remember and honor those that are missing from our holiday season.

Do you have traditions that you choose to continue to celebrate?  Do you know the reasons why you do or celebrate in a specific manner? I never knew why we celebrated the way we did and how much that would come to mean to me after my parents and grandparents have passed on.  I would encourage you to document all your recipes, traditions and favorite things.  Tell the people that you love that you love them and what is special about your memories with them.  It may seem silly now, but you don’t want to regret it in the future.

I pray that you have a wonderful holiday with those you cherish!

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